


The Crying Will Have To Wait

by Quinnoid



Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Cel needs to deal with their feelings I swear, Crying, Gen, Guilt, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Death, Mildly Canon Divergent, Spoilers for 177, canon backstory only, ch2 featuring Cel dealing with their feelings, just.. feelings in general, kobolds can purr now, they don't in this fic. but they need to
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:43:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27717659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quinnoid/pseuds/Quinnoid
Summary: “I-I promise.” Cel murmurs, swallowing down the sour taste that comes with the lie.In which Cel brings Sassraa back and pushes on.
Relationships: Sassraa & Celiquillithon "Cel" Sidebottom
Comments: 10
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

“I-I promise.” Cel murmurs, swallowing down the sour taste that comes with the lie. They aren’t so naive to think that the next time they screw up and ruin everything again, they’ll be lucky enough to come back here. But the thought.. it’s quite nice. Sassraa perks up, completely missing the flicker of pain that crosses Cel’s brow, and with one last wistful look around the room, they come over and take Cel’s hand. Before they head down the corridor, Sassraa hugs Cel tight. 

There’s a brief moment where Cel thinks they might just break down in her arms, rest their head on her shoulder and cry and be comforted, but Earhart’s words come back to them in a flash. They silently choke down the tears and all the guilt and despair and anger at themself without Sassraa noticing. Cel can cry later. Will have to, at this rate.

“Thanks, Cel.” Sassraa says quietly before they let go and grab Cel’s hand again. As they lead her back to the room, Sassraa tells them all about the different problems they solved. Cel listens with a smile that doesn’t feel fake and laughs with them when they grumble about the leaking cathode tube that refused to stay sealed and the funky solution it had required. It doesn’t take too long to make it back to the end of the tunnel, where it dead ends into a solid, smooth wall. Sassraa frowns at the wall and then at Cel.

“Uh. Is this another puzzle?” She asks. 

“I uhm, I think we have to want to go back. Like, will ourselves.” Cel says after a beat. “That makes sense I suppose. Keeps the guide from.. Hm.” They lose themself in the train of thought for a moment before shaking their head. “So! Are you ready?”

Sassraa looks back towards their lab again, so longingly that Cel almost says something when she sighs and squeezes their hand. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m ready. This’ll be.. I can come back.  _ We _ will come back.” 

Cel smiles at them and closes their eyes. After a few moments, the sounds of Sahra and the others become apparent, and when Cel opens their eyes, a kobold sized Sassraa is hugging Skraak and Meerk tight, and Azu and Carter are having a quiet conversation, and Zolf and Wilde are sitting side by side, Zolf’s head on his shoulder. Everyone’s breathing. Everyone’s alive. It’s going to be okay this time. It has to be. 

They sigh and shove the pesky guilty feeling aside again, smiling wryly at the flicker of memory from the Institute with Zolf and Azu, and stand up. It’s time to find out how much they owe. Their tactical cry will just have to wait.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So actually I can't leave my emotional support character without love and support, so have more Sassraa&Cel time

Sassraa hasn’t talked to Cel since they left the big room. They walked out hand in claw, but when they reached the others, Hamid had pulled her aside and cast some magic to protect her, and Cel had been dragged off by the Captain. After talking quietly with Sahra and the Captain and a few of the others, they walked off, head down and hands shoved into their pockets. Sassraa waits for a bit to see if anyone else is going to follow them. She knows they think she didn’t notice how much they trembled in the hug or the flashes of some complex mix of emotions. They were trying very hard to hide it though, and Sassraa isn’t one to point that sort of thing out. 

No one else goes after Cel. The Captain shoots a look at their retreating form that Sassraa can’t quite read and the dwarf looks conflicted, but they both seem to have other things to worry about. Sassraa glances over at Skraak, who’s staring at her like they’re trying to figure out something she can’t quite place. They stand a bit taller under his gaze, and after a moment he nods once and turns away. Sassraa takes that as permission enough and scurries off after Cel, who has almost disappeared in the dim, icy light.

They follow them, never able to catch up or call loud enough for Cel to hear, all the way to a wrecked ship. Sassraa slams to a stop when she realizes it’s  _ their  _ ship, and it looks bad. The starboard side has been sheared away, the engine gone with it, the masts have toppled over, and the hull has been shredded. They can see some bits of giant tree limbs still poking out of the hull. Sassraa’s starting to think they know why Cel’s so upset. They remember when she had been stuck in the Captain’s body, and how Cel had hovered like they were nesting, worry and apology and guilt ever present in their eyes.

A bit more cautiously, they walk to the ship. With the way the hull is torn up, it’s easy enough to find a hole to slip in. The inside of the ship is somehow worse looking than the outside. Debris and broken bits litter the floor, and there’s an odd smell, spoiled milk mixed with ozone and tree sap, that permeates the air. Sassraa flicks their tongue out once, just to see how bad it is, before they wrinkle their nose in disgust.

She moves on, picking her way carefully down the narrow hall. There’s so much to fix, so much to do, but first, they have to find Cel. Sassraa doesn’t quite know where to start looking, so they make their way to the rear engine room and start there, quietly listening for telltale signs of alchemy or engineering or any other noise Cel commonly makes. Instead, she hears quiet sobs coming from the direction of the elemental room and the weird bard’s quarters. 

They try the elemental room first and find Cel sitting against the wall under Sassraa’s favorite sleeping pipes, their knees drawn to their chest and their face buried in their arms. They pause, deciding how best to announce themself when Cel looks up to wipe their eyes and squeaks in surprise.

“Sa-Sassraa! Uhm, h-hey! How are-” Cel freezes and just stares. 

“Cel?” She says quietly.

They blink. “Your.. your scales. You-” They take a desperate breath that turns into more tears than breathing. Sassraa glances down and frowns. Random patches of scales have been bleached of their color, seemingly all over her body. And now that they’ve noticed it, Meerk had them too. Sassraa shakes her head. It’s not important right now.

“I’m okay.” She says, and Cel’s head falls back to their knees, shoulders quaking. “Cel, I.. can I help fix it?”

They shake their head and sniffle. “No. I just- I need five minutes. I’ll be fine, it’s fine now, I just..” They trail off, and Sassraa’s pretty certain they’re crying again, the kind of crying that you can’t hardly breathe during, the kind that barely makes a sound but makes your whole body tremble. 

Sassraa makes their way over but stops just short of touching Cel. They want permission first. “Cel? Can I be here?”

They don’t reply for a bit and finally look up at her with searching, teary eyes. After a moment, they seem to find what they’re looking for and whisper a broken “Please.”

Sassraa worms their way into Cel’s lap and curls up on their shoulder. It’s the closest thing they can give to a hug. Cel whimpers and pulls their knees in tighter. They stay like that for a while, not moving except to jump when Sassraa starts purring softly. She’s trying to tell them it’s okay, it’s not their fault, she doesn’t blame them or hate them. Finally, they start to relax, and the shuddering sobs start to come a little less frequently.

“Thank you.” Cel says. “I couldn’t.. I’m so sorry Sassraa.” They start to reach for her hand before stopping themself. Sassraa reaches down and grabs it, claws digging into their skin slightly. 

“It’s okay Cel.” Sassraa replies. They nuzzle against Cel’s chin.

“It’s not I-” They huff in exasperation. “You know how I said I learned things so slowly? Well, this, this is what I meant. Well, part of what I meant. I’ve made.. So many mistakes and I couldn’t.. I didn’t get this chance with any of the others.”

Sassraa blinks. “Do you want to tell me about them?”

They nod, their chin bumping her nose. Sassraa’s quiet while Cel whispers about their past. They tell her about the first person who’d died because of them, and then about the others. The whole time, Sassraa perches on their shoulder, their tail wrapped once around Cel’s upper arm for balance and still purring quietly. When they start crying again, she curls around their neck as tight as she dares and squeezes their hand. And when they’re all cried out, Sassraa moves so they’re sitting in Cel’s lap, their tail wrapped around Cel’s thigh, nose tucked under their chin. Exhausted from the emotional cyclone, Cel dozes off hugging Sassraa tight, and they follow soon after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Iguanas can purr so I say kobolds can too.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Folks, am having Feelings. The fact that Sassraa's heaven(?) is being just like Cel is just.. I Cry.


End file.
